Book jacket - "The Private Transient" - Watercolor by Author

T0 - General Comments

I invite you to add your comments about the ideas in this novel to any of the postings, T1 through T40, which have keyword titles that refer to ideas touched on in the novel and which I've seeded with a few thoughts to kick start your reflections. Note: these specific 'seeded thoughts' need not be the focus for your comment(s) about the keyword titles of each section. Write anything you want.

In this 'GENERAL COMMENTS' section (USE THIS SECTION MOST FREQUENTLY) please post your comments pertaining to ideas other than the keywords seen as the titles of the other Threads. If your general comments reflect on anything in the book I'll consider making them into a new Thread. Thank you - Russ

You can post your comment(s) as 'Anonymous.' Please identify yourself within the text of your comment at the beginning of your comment, ie.: Joe ... or ... Mary from Malibu, followed by the text of your comment. You could also use ficticious identification like 'Yoda from Star Wars.'

No comments on this blog are authoritative fact. They're opinions and thoughts. Yours are worthwhile, too.

If you're famous would you please use your full name? I could use the publicity. Thanks.

T1 - Childhood - Chapter 1

It seems like Gableplunk had an isolated childhood. The story implies that he felt estranged from his family. It's no wonder that he grew up to be alienated. The struggles that he experienced were about this. His indecision as to whether or not to join the band were about this. Some of his symbols in his dreams were about this. His desires to overcome opposition were about this. Weren't they?

T2 - Sensitivity - C 1

Intense descriptions of sensitivity and compassion in chapter one.

Sensitive: subject to excitation by or responsive to stimuli; having power of feeling; of such a nature as to be easily affected. Certainly Gableplunk is such a person. I read a book once although, unfortunately, I forget its name other wise I’d mention it, that made a case for twenty percent of people being sensitive, twenty percent being semi-sensitive and sixty percent of people being insensitive. I found this hard to believe however afterwards I began to observe people more closely and after a couple of years came to agree - approximately. Strikes me as sad. Just one more reason that
the world has always been in bad shape.

I’m tired of all the people who have no respect, who are
insensitive or desensitized and sometimes just plain
stupid. I know people get ground up by life and
occasionally blow up or treat other people badly. This
isn’t the type of behavior I’m talking about. What I’m
talking about are the hard core people, the ones who
are quite capable of stomping all over other people the
majority of the time. The people who are capable of
behaviors and making decisions that cause other
people to suffer and their own children and
grandchildren to degenerate health wise because they
have poisoned the environment physically, spiritually
and psychologically. I used to feel sorry for those
people but now I just ignore them. Have I become
desensitized, too? Have you?

I guess we can’t live with constantly bleeding hearts
because it’s too debilitating. Some solutions might be
part-time, time share sensitivity or giving to charity
(charity begins at home) but it’s tricky business.
Where do you draw the line between sensitivity and
shutting down? How do YOU handle this?

T3 - Oppositions - C 1

Opposition: to place against something as to provide
resistance or contrast; to strive against; a hostility:
a contrariness; a setting against something on the
other side.

This is a recipe for CONFLICT, ranging between low
levels like the inner personality characteristic of
contrariness all the way to the extremely high level
outer phenomenon of personal, national and
international warfare.

We all suffer from inner conflicts and this can make
us dissatisfied and unresolved. We’re constantly on
edge and sometimes we run up against
circumstances or other people that take us over the
edge. If we don’t have the skills and resources
(moral: get skills, get resources) to handle the
situations or people we make mistakes or flare into
conflict. This can result in kicking ourselves for the
mistake afterwards, arguments or if we have
political power on the scale of Presidents and
Advisors, warfare.

There are myriad reasons why we’re so conflicted.
Can you analyze one of yours (the reasons and the
conflict) and present it as comment(s)?

T4 - Higher Ethics - C 2

To what principles should we adhere? Where must be their source?

Our principles come from everywhere: our cultures, families, religions, other cultures and their ideas. Common sense. I choose mine mostly by common sense and then examine them over time, years and decades. I'll consider anything and accept it or reject it if 1) it takes me in a direction I want to go or 2) improves my outlook either spiritually, emotionally or financially, preferably all three but this is not often the case.

Some of my friends have more strict rules for themselves. They limit themselves to principles which are approved by their religions and reject others. I never liked this approach. For example, one of my friends still believes that if you're not a Catholic, you can't get into heaven. No matter what.

I like my higher ethics to be inclusive and compassionate.

T5 - Life Sucks - C 2

Life sucks. All our institutions are corrupt as are our representatives in society whether they be politicians or priests. I can't stand it. Where can I fit in and maintain even the tiniest sense of integrity? I think I'm depressed.

T6 - Change - C 2

Over the years I made changes in my life with the help of shrinks and some friends whose opinions I trusted. My shrinks would ask me questions like, "How does that make you feel?" and "What did you want to do about that?" As superficial as these questions seemed, they actually helped me focus on my feelings and motivations and made my feelings more clear to me. My friends had more personal biases but they were concerned enough about me (as I was about them) to listen to me and offer suggestions based on their own attitudes and biases which I understood and saw through to get to a kernal of something positive I could use in my own life. These awarenesses of each other made for intense conversations. Over beers of course.

T7 - Idyllic Living - C 3

I'd like to live like Gableplunk. On a mountainside, a few miles from a town. It would be nice. Peaceful. Quiet. Gableplunk's life appeals to me - going into town a couple of times a week to buy food or other things I need around the house or my workshop. Having a barn where I could keep a horse and some homeless cats. Once I lived in a commune out west for a year or so. I liked it but it got a little too politicized for my tastes. I enjoyed writing about Gableplunk's feelings about the countryside. They mirror my fantasies. I even share his enthusiasm for the city. I'm in favor of serene and idealistic lifestyles though who knows what the future will bring.

T8 - Loneliness And Approval - C 3

When I was younger I was lonely a lot. I can really identify with Gableplunk. He moves through his world not being able to really touch many of the people around him, at least early on in the book. He wonders about why he needs approval from other people. We all need approval from others whether it's about little things like our feelings or bigger things like our behaviors. If you need this approval too much, well, that can cause problems because then you have to ask yourself, 'Who am I living for?'

T9 - Dreams - C 4

Oh, yeah, this book's a cornucopia of bizarre dreams and analyses. Last night I dreamed I was a horse. One minute I was the horse and the next I was riding on the horse. What I make of this is 'I am my own rider.' That is, I direct myself in life. In my dream I was riding or being ridden through a dessert. It was flat terrain, sandy, and had sparse vegetation. I remember that I felt that I wouldn't have enough to eat when I stopped to camp for the night. I guess this means that 'directing my own life' might not be as nourishing as I thought it would be. What does this say for me about my notions of wanting to be free? That freedom might not be all that it's cracked up to be or that it wouldn't provide me with the sustenance that I need? Hmmmm.....

T10 - Ambivalence - C 4

Judy said to me when I asked her whether she was feeling any ambivalence, "Ambivalence is a word near and dear to my heart. I'm getting married but I'm torn between my desire to get married because it seems that it'll be so fulfilling and repulsion from it because it seems that I'll be giving up so much to do it. Repulsion seems a strong word for giving up activities that have always brought me a wide ranging mixture of feelings and satisfactions, some good and some terrible, so I'll be giving up these things in favor of a better state or so I hope. But what if we end up disliking each other and get divorced in a few years? I know lots of people who loved each other before they were married and now don't. What am I getting into? Am I ready to give up on a lot of things I basically enjoy? What's going to happen? It all seems a crap shoot to me."

T11 - Ideals - C 4

A friend of mine is a Librarian so every day he lives a life of rationalizations and compensations. He loves books and reads a lot. His favorite books are usually stories in which good wins out over bad, the idealistic protagonist gets the girl or someone is able to sacrifice something or even themselves for an ideal. And then, he says, there's the rest of his life which is mundane to an extreme. Every day he does what he always does. Even though he works at a job that he's fortunate enough to enjoy, each day he leaves work, has a glass of wine at the café around the corner, goes home, maybe goes out dancing with friends once or twice a week but there's no adventure, he says, no spirit of beauty, no sacrifice. He's thinking of joining the Peace Corp.

T12 - Lost Friends - C 4

When I was in school I had a lot of friends. Now that I've been out and working every one of them are gone. Moved to another city, another job, or with a different crowd or just no longer able to get along because of different thoughts, values or politics. I meet new people all the time and make some new friends here and there but somehow it's not the same. My new friendships are more superficial, less demanding, almost as if everyone is a 'ship passing in the night,' able to be communicated with for a brief time and then disappearing. I'm guessing that a lot of these people are feeling the same way that I do. I wonder where this phenomenon is leading me?

T13 - Reliance - C 4

What can you rely on? Not much. Ourselves of course if we've developed enough confidence. I, for one, took a lot of years to get to this stage. First I had to break my habit of being dependent on dependence. That got me nowhere. Then my trust in people had to go because of all the betrayals of one kind or another. This I replaced with a meta-trust, a belief that people as a whole are more good than bad. A kind of humanitarian optimism. Now that I feel relatively peaceful and no longer eaten alive by my insecurities and fears I think, 'Where do I go from here?'

T14 - Heros And Heroines - C 4

I've had a number of people I admired throughout my life. People who stood for something like an idea or a movement or were just able to accomplish things that I couldn't do myself. My tenth grade teacher, a sports figure here and there, a monumental thinker like Einstein.Even if I couldn't understand what they did I COULD understand that what they did was amazing and affected the lives of all of us. Even now I have a hero or two creeping around in my mind, giving me a boost when I think of them.Some people just amaze me!

I guess that the character Max is a bit of a hero figure in the book. Like all heros he has a few character flaws but these defects don't detract from his accomplishments. Maybe some of Max's accomplishments are also dubious. That is, he can cause pain in those who are unprepared. Life is like that. A series of lessons, sometimes painful, at the hands of what? Other people? God? Nature? Our own selves? Do we empathize with tragic characters because we see our own contradictions in them or do we merely feel sympathy or compassion?

I see a little of the heroic in everybody at different times.

T15 - Old Things New Things - C 4

It's really hard to recognize what needs changing. And then it's even harder to make those changes. Can't get trapped in reminiscing. There's good compensation, though. What's new is usually exciting and refreshing.

T16 - Limpid Child - C 5

Clear - not muddled. You can get to this state as an adult through Dianetics or, as does Gableplunk, meditation. Children younger than thirteen and older than five have this state of mind when their minds are not cluttered with life's complications. I remember that sometimes I felt light hearted and happy during those years. I loved 'Limpid Child.' It made me feel hopeful and put me in touch with those feelings again.

T17 - Loss - C 5

I know a couple of people who lost their spouses after only a few years. They died in car accidents. My friends were emotionally dead for a couple of years. Memories seemed to be their companions and memorabilia their textures. After work they told me they'd come home and sit around with images of their partners floating through their minds. Each of them went through periods during which they’d caress and smell their partner’s clothes especially the favorite trademark items, the ones that hadn't been cleaned when they died. Pictures took my friends on constant journeys to places they’d been. Eventually they pulled out of their hypnotic depressions and became more or less normal again. Their grief was a strange process to watch. I don’t look forward to it.

T18 - Ego - C 5

It's a blessing because it enables us to stride forward in life with an attitude that we can make it, conquer our problems, do whatever it takes. A curse because it can truly get in your way, cause you to miss opportunities and cause lots of frustrations and disappointments. I wish I was a less driven man. Better yet, I wish I could figure out what's driving me. You know? Who's REALLY driving my car?

T19 - Essence - C 5

Essence is an ethereal and ephemeral thing. I ask myself 'Who am I?' 'What am I?' Sometimes I can answer those questions but every time I have more than a minute or two to really concentrate and delve into them I lose it. I lose the feeling or the knowledge of whatever insight I thought I had. My comprehension slips away as my thoughts become more and more insubstantial until I'm left with..... I don't know what. It's frustrating so I leave it for another time.

T20 - Porn - C 6 - Also Dating, Sex, Relationship Theories, Opinions, Frustrations.....

There is no porn. The new viewpoint about porn is that it's just pictures (images) of people having sex. Nothing more, nothing less. The new term is NORP: natural orgasmically relating people. NORP is designed for titillation or fantasy and has zero moral or ethical value, not negative, not positive: zero, therefore having no reverse social or religious implications for adults. Are titillation and fantasy acceptable modes of behavior for people? Of course. Does NORP have any effect on peoples' expectations? Only for the retarded or psychotic, the inexperienced or, perhaps, children. Children ought not view NORP. The inexperienced ought to dabble lightly until they build reasonable social and interpersonal perspective. As far as sex and our culture's religions go, the negitivization of sex is a twisted, sick attitude designed to lower peoples' self esteem and manipulate them for religions' own purposes (which usually means, bottom line, getting peoples' money). I could go on and on. This is the tip of the iceberg however, going on and on would only give credence to the controversy of porn and in the new NORP thinking there is no controversy.

These are the new NORP rules:

1) Sex is good (goodness). We are here because of sex. We are good people.

2) NORP are good. So are images of NORP.

3) ...see other people's comments...

Anti-NORP:

1) Western religions.

2) Prudes.

3) Control freaks.

4) ...see other people's comments...

T21 - Impasses - C 6

Every once in a while I experience a plateau. Sometimes it's in between jobs or even careers, sometimes between relationships. These are usually good times for me. They're times for reflection and usually fairly free of aggravations and dissatisfactions. Actually I almost wish they could be extended forever but I always choose another path and take initial steps which at first are exploratory and fun but eventually lead to running ever more swiftly towards more and more envelopment and dissatisfaction. Of course this leads to burnout and I end up at another plateau. Religion and spirituality are good to have along the path because they help me endure the path for a longer period of time therefore extending my capability to educate myself further and refine my perceptions. However, you can't beat burnout forever and eventually it overtakes you and changes have to be made again. It's actually a little fascinating, this cycle. Gableplunk says we can break this cycle by abandoning it but how do we abandon something which seems so deeply intrinsic to life?

T22 - Chess As Metaphor - C 6

Yoda From Star Wars

In my mystical journeys throughout our solar systems I come across many games. Chess is one of the more fascinating games because it's so easy to project my illusions onto the board. On Earth, GO is another game of equal complexity which develops one's sense of space (obviously I would like that) and even international politics, as the goal of GO is to surround your opponent's buttons. Can you also see the familial psychological implications of this? Chess simulates warfare and is therefore a good training ground for people interested in the military or corporate strategies. Chess and GO are filled with terminology which is easily adapted for metaphoric use about many topics from simple ones like division, beauty, power, personality, up to and including life and death. Chess is a wonderful source for literary metaphors. When among Chess players, conversations run wild with references to everything under the sun. The number of things that can be expressed through Chess talk is endless. That's why it's popular among people who like to philosophize. What are your experiences with Chess?

T23 - Illusions - C 6 and 7

I've re-read the book many times and had many interesting thoughts while reading. Regarding memories and the themes in the story (if I recall correctly, ideas about memories came up in chapters 6 and 7) I think that one idea of what or who we think we are is that our individuality, personality and identity is composed of memories. You can verify this for yourself with some in‑depth thinking. Memories are notoriously inaccurate, incomplete and even non‑existent for experiences we know we've had. Our memories are illusions. Who we are is illusion(s). If this is all we are then we don't really exist. If we are also spirit or soul as many people like to believe, we know of these other elements of our beings only through our memories of what we've been told or, if we're a practiced spiritual person, through our intuitive sensations. At the very moment we experience the intuitive sensation we can know something (to be true) however a fraction of a second later it becomes a memory. If we continue living in the intuitive sensation, called 'being in the moment,' we can have direct experience of reality. This experience is without ego of course because it takes time, even if only thousandths of a second, for ego, which is reflective, observational and judgmental, to operate. When we are in this intuitive sensation we as individuals, personalities, identities (egos), don't exist because we are without ego, absorptive, non‑reflective. So, any way we look at it we don't really exist at all. What we consider to be 'us,' our individuality, our personality, our identity, is illusions. The old philosophical adage 'I think therefore I am' is completely wrong. So, if we don't really exist why do we take ourselves so seriously? As though we are important. Why do we consider our thoughts and feelings important or meaningful? Because we love our illusions. They make us feel real, at least in the sense that we identify with our cultures and what we've been told is true all our lives. We also understand unconsciously or intuitively that beyond them is nothing, no‑thing, and this puzzles us or makes us (egos) fearful. This creates anxiety, the causes of which we find very difficult to confront. This existential angst, floating anxiety, fear of death, whether physical or spiritual, however, gets our attention and we focus on it seriously as though we can influence the outcome(s). We're trying to relieve ourselves of that (no‑thingness or ego-less awareness) which itself is relief from our concerns, fears, etc. We are then immersed in Maya, our world of the continuous cyclings of concerns and illusions. By repeated involvement over time, habit, we are addicted and blinded to any possibility of resolution or escape from this cycling. As you are reading this you are having the sensation of cycling. This is your life.

This is what I call 'The Illusion Of Personality.'

Everything has many layers. How do we get to the bottom line (foundation, base, ground)? According to Gableplunk meditation is the path to follow for release. I think that's true at least in our lifetimes.

***

What if there's another possibility for memory, that of memory being located outside of us, outside of our bodies, our nervous systems? This is a theory of occultists of various disciplines which claim that we 'receive' our memories from this outside place in a similar manner as does a radio or television, by radio waves, and in the case of our memories, by psychic waves. I don't know how accurately I've described the method of this kind of receipt of our memories but the idea of our memories being located somewhere other than inside of us, in our brains or nervous systems, seems like it might be worth an examination.

***

How do we make personal changes in light of the 'Illusion Of Personality?'

Observing ourselves we notice through self awareness that our identities must be capable of monitoring our feelings and behaviors and directing us to (hopefully) better behaviors and feelings which create better memories which create (hopefully) better feelings and behaviors.

So, through our identities, which are illusions, we create more mnemonic illusions but (hopefully) better ones, more mature ones based on monitored and directed experiences. Thus, as we observe ourselves through self awareness, we seem to change.

Illusions can be self-generating, reproductive, replicative, self-perpetuating. Are our illusions real? As real as, say, birds or germs? How do they get into us? Are identities necessary for illusions to procreate? Are we inseparable?

Ultimately illusions are the products of nervous systems. Without nerves we could not feel anything. Feelings are the body's reactions to memories. Without nerves we could not have memories or perceive them if we receive them from outside us. So, illusions are bound to our physical bodies, our biologies, as are our minds, our psychologies. Our minds are memories. Our memories are illusions, so, yes, we are inseparable.

If 'I think therefore I am' is incorrect then what might be correct is 'I SENSE therefore I am.' In this case, what is it that senses? Our nervous system. Are we merely our nervous system? The answer is, yes.

This thinking goes round and round. Maya, the cycle of illusions. When your mind is cycling you're experiencing an illusion. Meditation is release, at least temporarily: our best change.

***

I try to make this analysis concrete but it's impossible because of the nature of language which is metaphoric and vague. Mathematics would be a better tool for this. Physicists and Mathematicians do analyze illusions, however, they present their findings/thoughts in a language that only one out of a hundred thousand of us can read.

***

Illusions, delusions, schmillusions. It's not illusions that screw up your life. It's expectations. Keep your expectations in perspective and life flows smoothly. Knock them a little out of kilter and life can turn hellish.

T24 - Self Examination - C 7

What makes us tick? Mostly I examine my inner workings through the structures of psychology but there are other systems which can be used according to your needs and your spiritual values. Astrology has its uses, too. Any system of thought can be used for reflection and/or comparison of the workings of your mind and feelings with some kind of standardized values or mental mechanics. Even religions have their uses if one doesn't take them too seriously.

The best way for me was to first learn to define what I was feeling - put correct labels on all my feelings and emotions. Once I was able to bring some order to all those seemingly random occurrences I was able to see patterns, recognize situations or events which would precipitate similar feelings. Soon enough I felt more comfortable with myself, less frightened. Over a few years everything else fell slowly into place.

I also had to study some philosophy and logic in order to build my own mental structures, my own scaffolding on which I could erect my newly forming self. Believe it or not Algebra helped enormously! The study of the abstracts of relating symbols trained my mind to be able think logically and also be able to accept radically (or so I thought at the time) new ideas which were at first utterly foreign to me. Eventually I came to enjoy this facet of mathematics and bring it to bear in other areas of my life, among them introspection. It trained my memory until I could relate thought after thought going forwards or backwards and thus I was able to build intellectual structures and the capability to understand almost anything.

I consider my life a success story having come from confusion and loneliness to confidence, thoughtfulness, compassion and willingness to hear opinions other than my own. In this sense my life is a pleasure.

T25 - Initiations - C 7

I remember my initiation into the Cub Scouts. Freaky little kids. Running around in the woods, making campfires, trying to figure out what the creed meant. Then there were the fraternities in high school and college. More freaky kids, only bigger. Initiations were a little more goofy, even strange at times. I couldn't bring myself to join those clubs. I think any initiation into a group which has some meaning for you can provide deep insight into yourself, your desires, motivations and capabilities as you gain experience. It's been a pleasure writing about Gableplunk and his initiations into some of the mysteries of life. This is the group I finally joined. What groups have you joined?

T26 - Meditation - C 7

What is meditation? From Gableplunk, it's awareness without egotistical relationship. No‑mind. Selfless awareness. A state in which the mind is relaxed and no attention is given by itself to its own machinations. Thoughts and images may freely come and go but they are experienced as one experiences nature, as an unbroken panorama of scenic occurrences, without making judgments of the value of anything, that is, without (egotistical) involvement. 'Egotistical' is an abstract word which simply means, yourself or your sense of yourself. So, without involving yourself with any particular aspect of the panorama. See it like you would look at the Grand Canyon, with awe, with amazement, with the eyes of someone who is having a picnic and enjoying nature. In this state life is beautiful.

Do you have any other variations on what meditation is?

T27 - Zen - C 7

Zen. It's a word that conjures up mystical understanding in the minds of people. It seems completely unfathomable to many, even practitioners. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of books have been written on the topic. Many of them are quite accurate, quite analytical, insightful and even educational. The best ones contain poems some of which are structured with seventeen beats or emphases. These are called Haiku. They're traditional and there's as much meaning in the beats and pauses are there are in the words. It's these poems which best express the spirit of Zen and which offer the best path to comprehension. Of course comprehension is the wrong word. All words are the wrong word. Zen is wordless. So, you see why there is such mystery surrounding what is essentially an utterly simple thing?

There are many paths to Zen.

There's the slow way, the fast way, the upside down way,

The book way, the teacher way, the way of meditation.

Follow the moon, follow nature, follow the rainbow.

All will get you there.

T28 - Destiny - C 8

As Gableplunk says, 'Here Gableplunk could seek these visions, and in failing to realize them, he wouldn't fail, for he'd find them momentarily in the seeking.' He, like most of us, seeks his own visions, nurtures his own ambitions and examines and modifies his own motivations. In this process he realizes, probably unknowingly, his destiny and the destiny of mankind. Whatever path we all seem to be on, our paths of individuality which seemingly make us distinct from all others, beneath our illusions of ourselves, we adhere to what is common to all of us: our human natures. This is a pool of characteristics in which we all share, some of us exhibiting one or five or twelve or more of those characteristics at any one time and others of us exhibiting a different dozen out of the hundreds or thousands in the pool. We might call the pool human nature or the unconscious or as the Psychologist Jung labeled it, the pool of archetypes from which springs our expressed or manifested characteristics, our unconscious desires and our myths from which cultures and even civilizations evolve.

Individuality is the nickels and dimes of our civilizations' currencies and destiny is the dollar, the power behind the people. Of course there's a lot of disagreement about which path our destinies ought to take. This is the discourse of an advanced society. When there is no discourse, the path of destiny becomes fixed. I suppose a fixed destiny offers security and a mutable path offers adventure and opportunity. People can choose. As a species our destiny unfolds slowly, however with increasing pace lately, as humankind evolves to..... what? as Gableplunk asks. Good question. It is the work of Futurists to examine this question and try to give us choices and guidelines. However, by nature Futurists are almost always wrong because they can only examine limited numbers of all possible pathways according to each of their individualities. Since there are more paths into the future than there are people on the face of the earth, this must always be so. So, the future remains unpredictable as does the stock market, no matter what advanced forms of mathematics are brought to bear on it study.

This is the big picture and we all fit in somewhere, somehow, in contributing to the destiny of our species. Even if we only offer our humble opinions about life and are not movers and shakers, these tiny influences are sometimes felt all the way across the world and in the future the solar system and then the galaxy. I suspect that once humans (again) become a space faring species that we will create other little Earths here and there, each of which will manifest its own destiny. Sometime in the future we will come to another confrontation with ourselves.

T29 - Romance - C 8

It sure is complicated. You have to consider the expectations of each of the persons involved. And what about the personalities? Some just don't fit. What of unrequited love? This is the most painful sensation I've ever experienced in life because when it happens it seems to never end. For me, it feels like my life is being sucked out of me. I have trouble breathing and anxieties flood every corner of my being. I hate it. When it happens (rarely, thank God) I'm unable to break away from it even though I know that it can only end in disaster. It's as though it has a life of its own and it's through me that it has to live until it decides to go away. Then I'm devastated (even though the devastation has been going on for some time) and I am released. Unfortunately this is NOT orgasmic.

Sometimes you're lucky. You find someone of more or less equal romantic status, that is, they care for you at more or less the same level that you care for them. This is the best arrangement. Maybe it lacks the drama of those other experiences but at least it feels sane. Comfortable. It requires active work, participating in a relationship to keep it reasonably in perspective in your own mind and the mind of the other person(s) involved. It's longer lasting. These relationships can also break up but if it happens at least you can go ahead with your life without being devastated again because it worked better to begin with.

T30 - Resolution - C 8

Resolution is an ideal. You can never really have it. You can only shoot for it. Whether it's in a romantic relationship or spiritual, one can only seek it and never obtain it completely at least in a larger sense. Oh, we can have small resolutions here and there, even on a daily or weekly basis as in business, and these are satisfying for a moment or two. They are merely portents of the end point of larger resolutions: death. At the end of a small resolution what happens is we move onwards into another problem or another area of life and leave behind the considerations which led to the smaller resolution. That is the death of that process, those considerations and that resolution. Hopefully we learned something from it which we can apply to our next step in life. So it goes on and on until we cease to be. I had an Aunt who died. Just before she died she told me that she had discovered something and wanted to tell me what it was. Unfortunately she died before I saw her again. I've always speculated about what it could have been.

T31 - Taking Part - C 9

Taking part. Connection. Contribution. Self knowledge. These are Gableplunk's words for continuity, the feeling that we are involved with something. Family, work, religion, society, a club, all have something in common as far as the individual goes: involvement with other people, ideas and putting yourself and your body out there. We all have differing senses of who we are and what we want to accomplish in life and this is reflected in what avenue we choose for our taking part. Religious people might be interested in involvement with their houses of worship or becoming Monks. Managerial types might like politics or corporations. Warrior types, obviously, the military. Artistic people find truth in music, painting or writing while people who like working with their hands gravitate towards the trades. Some people are fascinated with economics or the weather or the stars. There are pathways to involvement for everyone. Even the depressed can find relief by helping others. Gableplunk, seemingly on a sojourn from involvement, sees and remembers its benefits and recommends it to himself as a way of contributing to his own life, society and the people around him in whom he places the most trust. Can he trust? By the end of the book it seems as though he is of two minds and the extreme tension between the two different feelings causes him to have his Satori, Japanese for enlightenment. What a gas of an ending!

T32 - Quest For The Rose - C 10

Part I seems to be about taking stock.

Personal inventory. Taking stock of one's life uses inductive thinking. Recollecting the important and specific events and feelings and considering their themes and worth and constructing more generalized ideas of what one's life is really about in terms of ideas, desires, likes and skills is necessary every five years. I guess this is what the old Russian Republic was all about with its notorious Five Year Plans. However, we hope and pray that our own five year summarizations prove far more successful than theirs ever were!

For instance Gableplunk had spent the last few years of his life trying to get to the heart of his life, his essence (he was an arrow). Along the way during this process he experienced various inner conflicts and fears (his feathers were white with fright). He considered ultimate questions and found the standard answers wanting (the answer to birth and death is love). Examining the museum of his mind and memories he found that it was empty, that he could find no deep satisfaction with recollections (the birds already flew south - they flew the coop!). 'Remaining behind to feed the geese': this is a common winter occurrence for all of us. Who has not seen geese on the sides of the roads in winter? Earlier on in his story Gableplunk had gotten stodgy. He wasn't able to understand that the museum was empty and he couldn't freely flow with life so he 'got snowed in by a snowstorm' - he got stuck, mired in the habits and thought patterns of his mental museum, his earlier life. He was struck by the irony that 'even the worms left the frozen ground and danced in the icy flow.' Even the lowliest creatures were more capable than he to be able to take part in the dance of life even under the most adverse conditions (a snowstorm). 'Where should I go?' he asked himself. What should I do? How can I resolve my inner conflicts, my sturm und drang (German for spiritual turbulence)?

A 'friendly gesture' comes along and tells him to take a break, get a little relief, take the edge off. I guess that peoples' 'friendly gestures' could come in many forms: friends, philosophies, psychology, even going to the movies, reading a book or taking a vacation. The 'friendly gesture' offers words of consolation for Gableplunk's anxieties about break-taking: I'll take care of your worries for awhile, it says. It gives him some good advice: Don't worry; be happy! :)

So, taking stock every so often in life can be useful, even indispensable

***

The first section of 'Quest For The Rose' was about taking stock of one's life. Part II seems (to me) to be about his concern about his direction. He's feeling doubts. 'Moon flower how you glower' tells us that he's feeling unsure of himself, that there's a part of him that disapproves of what he's doing. 'Far away lies the sun' tells us that he sees his journey as too great. He's bit off more than he can chew. However, he quickly gives himself a courage boost and reassures himself that after a hard day's effort, 'in the evening the cows come home', he will, after all, gain the deep understanding that he needs and will be able to rest. 'Birds on the wing' means freedom. Freedom 'foils the curses of madmen and steals the purses of little women.' 'Curses of madmen' can mean anything that gets on your nerves and 'purses of little women' refers to the characteristic of hanging on to your petty valuables, perhaps those parts of us which are unproductive or detrimental and which we retain as near and dear to us because they comprise some or all of our identities which we can not let go for fear of the unknown. Freedom is the letting go of all of these useless and counter-productive forces in ourselves. 'The runes of the old gnomes Whiten the bed sheets Brighter and farther away From the dunes' - Runes are a symbol system for use in divining, telling the future. Gnomes are a race of old and wise people, so, G. says use wisdom to direct your life so you can sleep at night with clean sheets (an untroubled mind) and sleep well, far away from the churning waves of the ocean which crash up onto our dunes (our peaceful areas) and cause our turmoil. 'The plumes of the runes' seems to be the crowning of knowledge or G.'s way of saying that knowledge is great and powerful and 'fly frosty in the light of the deep dark night' means that knowledge is an icy beacon in the great darkness which envelops us (ignorance). Icy because it is crystal clear and both reflects light and manifests light through itself, light being an ancient and even Biblical metaphor for knowledge, understanding and even God. 'How deep, how dark Is it from here to the park?' How long must my journey last? Gableplunk asks himself. 'Where lie the feathers Of the moon?' Feathers may be a back reference to 'whiten the bed sheets' or an untroubled life, a goal of Gableplunk's, and 'the moon' of course is intuition, intuitive knowledge, deep feeling, rest in the eternal otherness, maybe God, maybe for Gableplunk, a woman, the otherness, the softness of home and a place to rest. 'The Rose! The rose! I will have the rose!' is G.'s dedication to his journey and his goal of understanding - his determination.

***

The first section of "Quest For The Rose" was about taking stock of one's life. Part II seemed (to me) to be about Gableplunk's concern about his direction. Part III seems to be about realization.

In Part III Gableplunk realizes the true nature of freedom is letting go of his struggles for personal power, his sense of opposition in that he has heretofore seen himself as separate and sometimes AGAINST others, their ideas and beliefs and also letting go of time, our measurement of all things great and small and especially our lives. These are the limitations that we put on ourselves and abandoning them creates freedom.

'The power of the flower' tells us that when freedom blooms (a flower blooms) it sows the 'seeds that feed the hermaphrodite,' the unified being in all of us (our inner hermaphrodites) that is free of our compulsions to be in opposition to others. He adds a little orgasmic eroticism in the phrase 'And the free flowing juices That seal the blind man's fate Find their release as...' 'Free flowing juices' refer to pre-ejaculation lubrication, 'the blind man's fate' refers to the penis and 'Find their release as' refers to ejaculation. This sexual poetry gives virility and power to the freedom that Gableplunk is writing (singing) about. Continuing with the sexual metaphors, when 'The scene shifts to the universal calm' he's singing of the release from the existential tension which comes from letting go of the forces within us that imprison us. 'And the rift between the rivers' may, I say MAY, poeticize female sexual organs which have the capability to give birth (power to generate) whether actually or literarily to 'The King and Queen,' symbols of equal rulership when both are part of the hermaphrodite, equal rulership of masculine and feminine principles which we all possess but which are expressed by societies and self chosen identities of individuals who see life in terms of polar opposites as black and white rather than the multi-colored and faceted areas in between: sophisticated people. (This is why religions have always put down sophistication, worldliness, as offensive to God (as if Religionists could really speak for God). It enables their position that "ignorance is bliss" and keeps people 'in their place,' that is, ignorant, and helps to maintain their power in the minds of their subjects. Through means such as these quasi edicts they enforce peoples' subservience and obedience to principles which are sometimes useful and good, sometimes hateful and evil and are always questionable. They maintain their power. - my own ideas of course). The SEQUENCE of male ejaculation and then giving birth also suggest that we ourselves generate the birth of opposing forces (King and Queen). So, this could also be part of Gableplunk's Rose: the UNDERSTANDING, which leads to responsibility and, reasonably, responsibility for our future choices of actions/behaviors. The 'Rift between the rivers' could also refer to our divided natures, the separation or split of our personal power between two (or more) forces, forces of whatever. The split, which is depicted in many myths, may cause our sense of opposition or may cause us to feel a 'rift' between ourselves and others.

'Fain would I cry out!' Fain means gladly. 'Gladly would I cry out' as though he would LIKE to exclaim his excitement but can not. He expresses a controlled joy, perhaps expressing disbelief or his inability to believe completely in his revelation. Maybe it's hard to swallow (pun intended on my part) for him. He has found the Rose: his goal, his solution, his spiritual comprehension of life. 'And the Rose springs anew In the fresh soil In the garden of Cosmic Man!' means that spiritual comprehension grows where people plant it, in their own gardens, in their own minds and hearts. Gableplunk capitalizes 'Cosmic' and 'Man,' interjecting a new element, a new viewpoint, that of his feelings expressed in an earlier chapter, that Man is a creature destined for the stars, to be star travelers, cosmic people. Capital 'Man' refers to all of humanity, as in 'mankind.' In summary, G. is saying that freedom for mankind lies in ridding ourselves of our compulsions to oppose others and even ourselves. By this he implies cooperation, perhaps in a worldly sense or in the sense that we need cooperation rather than opposition in order to move mankind into the future. Gableplunk urges us all to cooperate. These are trying times. This is good advice.

T33 - WAINTS - C 10

WAINTS. If this is an anagram then it's driving me nuts! The best I can come up with is wastin' (if I'm willing to add a hyphen, which is against the rules of anagram solving - if Gableplunk can break the rules in his spiritual quest then I guess I, too, can take a liberty). If it's 'wastin', wasting, then G. might be saying that he feels that his life is being wasteful or that he's wasting, as in medical terminology, being very sick. Sick of his old life. Needs to change, etc... Or maybe the dream is a PORTENT of change: he feels that it has to do with disappearing. A part of him is disappearing, changing. He's changing.

In my own life I seem to be going through changes all the time. I'm sick of them, too, and I want nothing more than to feel like I have some stability in this world.

Another thing that's interesting is that Gableplunk says that the term is the girl's family name. A family name implies a history of generations. Maybe Gableplunk's habitual ways of behaving have been inherited from his family, what he learned from them or rather, from the history of his family whose behaviors and 'dynamics', to use a psychological term, go back generations and generations and unexamined generations... I wonder if some of the people in my own family examined their histories and I wonder what thoughts they had or what conclusions they came to. Does everyone have to do this in order to make some sense out of things?

T34 - Dreams - C 10

Here's where you can post your own dreams AND YOUR INTERPRETATIONS. Here are brief instructions on how to interpret your dreams: first list the symbols that appear in your dream. Then ask yourself, 'What does this symbol do in REAL life?' 'What does a mouse or a dog or a car do in real life?' Then take the answer and relate it to each of the other answers for the other symbols and what's going on in your life these days. Let's say off-handedly that you have a dream of a mouse and a house and it puzzles you. So you ask, 'What do mice do in real life?' Well, maybe to you mice are frightening creatures - they frighten people. Other people may think that mice are cute or dirty or whatever... Then you ask yourself, 'What do houses do in real life?' Well, houses protect people from the weather. Maybe, in your case, you answer the question by saying that a house is where people store their possessions. So, blending the two answers you might say that your dream is about your fears of your possessions. You ought to then ask yourself if this relates in any way to your current ACTUAL life. Do you have any fears of anything? If not, ask yourself the question, 'What are possessions (treat possessions as a symbol)?' Maybe you answer 'my most treasured possession is my mind.' So, blending symbols, you might then ask yourself, 'Am I in fear of my mind?' 'What's happening in my life that's so threatening to me and so overwhelming that my mind seems in danger?' And then you relate this answer back to the themes of the dream again, that is, fear and possessions. You're developing the themes of the dream and you're relating those themes to what's actually going on in your life today. You're giving your dream a meaningful interpretation (for you). If you have to do this cycle again it's okay. Sometimes it takes two or three repetitions of questions, answers and symbols to come up with a complete interpretation.

Trust your answers to your questions and stay with them for the duration of your interpretation. Your first answer is usually the most true and the deepest insight. Be aware of the 'lightbulb effect.' You experience the effect of a lightbulb going on above your head when you hit on something which feels instantaneously true to you. When this feeling occurs you know you've hit on something which is absolutely true.

Ways to add information to your interpretation process are: ask 'Are there any obvious emotions in the dream in addition to the images and symbols?' Incorporate these emotions into the process. Also ask, 'Are there any further details?' and 'Are there any other characters and who or what are they?' Then include this additional information in the process of your interpretation. The additional information sometimes offers up more refined viewpoints about the main symbols and if it's needed it can help answer the questions that you pose to yourself. Sometimes these additional symbols, feelings and details can be part of another branch of interpretation which may reflect on and compliment your main interpretation or take off in a supplementary direction. Some dreams can seem incredibly complicated and filled with many sections but usually each section can be analyzed and in the end all the interpretations, if we see them as separate sentences, can be put together to form a 'paragraph' which has a larger meaning. For complicated dreams like this it is helpful to use pencil and paper to write symbols and sectional interpretations down and even to diagram the sequences of the dream. Some dreams are short and to the point and others can be unbelievable long. These take patience and, of course, interest and an investment of time.

This is only a brief example. It gives you a method to interpret your dreams which is a more active, participatory one than the usual one that most people have of giving symbols in their dreams a fixed meaning that they read about in dream books. This method can give you individually important interpretations, important to yourself and even to the other people in your life who are part of the issues that the theme(s) of your dreams touch on.

So, please, post some of your dreams and your interpretations.

T35 - Does God Exist? - C 10

Is there a God? You tell me. Get hot.

T36 - Unconscious, Soul and Unknowability - C 10

Unconscious, soul and unknowability. Helluva group. They seem similar, words from different disciplines, but similar..... hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Personally I've never been able to figure out what a soul is. Oh, I understand the common meaning, that part of us which is immortal, but I've never felt it or seen it or experienced its presence in any way so it's hard for me to comprehend what it is. I've talked to Priests about it and they each have given me more or less the same definition and tell me that I have to develop my faith. When I've asked them 'what is faith?' they tell me it's belief in something or someone without evidence. I can't understand this. It's so contrary to reasonable thinking and behavior. I'm told, 'that's the point. Faith begins where rationality ends.' That makes no sense to me. I'm to make a jump from reasonable thinking to irrational belief in things which make no sense? Okay. Give it a chance. Makes no sense to me but I'm aware that several thousand million people do this. I wonder why and how? I'm guessing that this other type of thinking-feeling is put into their heads when they're children when they're undeveloped in all ways and will believe almost anything that other people tell them. It doesn't seem fair to me to put irrational ideas into the minds of children when they can't defend themselves. At least parents ought to explain to their children that there are all sorts of strange beliefs in the world and they ought to learn about as many as they can before choosing which ones they'd like to indulge in when they're eighteen or twenty one or older. But, I suppose this would be like throwing all religions into a hat and telling kids that they're all more or less equal so pick a few, consider them over the years and pick one you like or don't pick any at all. This would probably be anathema to all religions who thrive on exclusivity and bolster their identities by offering their followers all sorts of claptrap which makes them feel more important and better than everyone else. These tactics are shrewd psychology used to lure people and then manipulate them for various reasons. It seems sad to me that this goes on, the Pied Pipers and the Lemmings of the religions of the world. It always seems to end up in wars, another crazy form of political manipulation of the masses, again, for one reason or another..... by one power block against another, by another vested interest over yet another. I guess this is human nature and all people take part in it either as leaders or (vicarious) followers. But you know, no one has to sign up for this. You can just ignore it and go your own way (except in countries that have zero freedom - I know, I know, there are a lot of people who proclaim that our freedom in America is only an illusion and that we're all manipulated from cradle to grave on every level imaginable and this is, in effect, the same situation that people are in in countries that have no guarantees of freedom or even the slightest illusion of providing it.). Nevertheless even in those places you can ignore the maniacs at least in your own head while giving lip service to those who would kill you for your thoughts. Like in Europe in the dark and middle ages and in the middle east in modern times.

The unconscious I can understand because it's a psychological idea, a concept, not a faith, for which there is at least some evidence and even if the evidence borders on fiction at least the psychologists are not seeking penalties for other peoples' disbelief, at least not yet, because they ARE rational people. However, maybe if we give them enough time.....

Unknowability: is this a word? Sounds adventurous to me. Spirituality, the unconscious, mystery, art, even newly developing science all offer peeks into the unknown. And the unknown eventually becomes known through exploration. I suppose even religions began this way but why did they become codified? You don't need codes to have a sense of wonder which is the joy of life especially spiritual life. Maybe it's because people speak with words and words (and images), as any Madison Avenue advertising executive will tell you, are there expressly for the purpose of manipulating people for one's own ends. Does this sound like anything you've read in the Bible?